Light in the Valley of the Shadow of Death (part twelve)

Posted on May 21, 2013 by Claudia Dickson Greggs

Surely he took up our pain and bore our suffering (Isaiah 53:4a)

While on a retreat for ordained women in my denomination I began to experience persistent pain from a small bump near the edge of my jaw and just below my right ear.  This was in October 2011 and about four days before I left for that retreat I felt for the first time that bump and a slight twinge of pain.  But it became more painful while away in Woodbridge, Virginia and so at the end of the second day of the retreat, just after calling home and asking Gil to set up an appointment for me with my E. N. T. doctor for when I returned, I asked several women to lay hands on me and pray that the pain would abate.

Anglican Church in North America Provincial Retreat for Women in Holy Orders, October 2011. I am seated on the front row, third from the left.

Afterward my friend, Kathleen, a priest from Ohio, said that while praying for me the Lord had given her an image of a face being slapped.  At that moment this image did not have meaning for me, but five weeks later, on the evening before Thanksgiving, it did.  I was experiencing excruciating pain from the tumor (which was continuing to grow) and it was now pressing on my facial and neck nerves.  I took some prescription pain medicine which my surgeon prescribed, but it barely touched the pain.

So, at 8:03 p.m on November 23. I sent a second email to friends, family and colleagues asking them to pray for pain relief.  The first reply arrived within minutes, as it had the day before when I sent out my first email with news about my diagnosis.  My friend, Lynn, wrote: “I am praying mightily that the pain would miraculously be relieved and that you would be able to sleep soundly all night tonight…”  Many more replies followed in rapid succession – and within twenty minutes after sending out that email Continue reading →

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Light in the Valley of the Shadow of Death (part eleven)

Posted on May 14, 2013 by Claudia Dickson Greggs

that you may know…his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is the same as the mighty strength he exerted when he raised Christ from the dead… (Ephesians 1:18b-20)

The day after my first appointment with my head and neck oncology surgeon I wrote the following verse into my prayer journal: “…He rescued me because He delighted in me.”  (Psalm 18:19b)  Almost every day I write a verse or two of Scripture into my prayer journal after reading through several passages from the Bible.  As I read each passage I’m listening, intuitively, for a verse or a phrase that strikes a chord with whatever happens to be on my mind.  Sometimes a thought or concern lies below the level of my consciousness and it remains just out of my conscious reach until a verse I’m reading strikes me in such a way that I become aware of it.  After recording the verse, I then pray about the thought or concern the verse gave voice to, using the words from Scripture as the basis for my petition.  Finally, I wait for God’s response to my prayer – and if I sense one – I write that into my journal, too.

My prayer journal.

My prayer journal.

This daily spiritual discipline took on new meaning and urgency for me after I was diagnosed with cancer – especially after I received the news that removing the tumor would likely result in permanent disfigurement – and that the chances of my long-term survival were not above fifty percent.  Each day I would find something in the passages I was reading that spoke to me on a very deep level. (I’ve listed those verses at the end of this post).  This is one of the ways Scripture – which the author of the letter to the Hebrews describes as “living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword” (4:12) – can function in our lives: uncovering the yearnings of the heart and directing us in how to pray about them.  Although the biblical characters (Gideon, King David and the apostle Paul) from each of the verses I copied into my prayer journal faced a situation different from mine, their words gave me confidence to pray for the kind of deliverance they experienced when they turned to the Lord in a time of great need.  So as I used these verses of Scripture in my prayers I dared to believe Continue reading →

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Light in the Valley of the Shadow of Death (part ten)

Posted on May 7, 2013 by Claudia Dickson Greggs

When everything was hopeless, Abraham believed anyway, deciding to live not on the basis of what he saw he couldn’t do but on what God said He would do. (Romans 4:18, The Message)

My first appointment with Dr. Mark Weissler, Professor and Chief, Division of Head and Neck Oncology and Surgery at the University of North Carolina School of Medicine took place on Monday, November 21, 2011.  This was exactly one week after I learned the protrusion below my right ear, which had increased from roughly the size of a pea to that of a golf ball, in just five weeks, was not an infected gland as I had been led to believe, but instead, a very aggressive cancerous tumor in my right parotid (salivary) gland.  These tumors are so rare – occurring in less than one-half of 1 % of the population – that they are often initially misdiagnosed, even by Ear, Nose and Throat doctors.  What causes them is unknown.

The appointment was scheduled for 9:30 a.m.  Although it takes no longer than thirty-five minutes to get from Raleigh to Chapel Hill on most days, when not traveling during rush hour, we didn’t want to take any chances, so we left with plenty of time to spare.   We knew, from past experience, that the major road connecting the two towns (I-40) is often congested and we didn’t want a traffic delay to make the day any more stressful than we anticipated it would be.   Once off the highway, we chose a route that was familiar because of its association with our daughter Emily and her years as a student at Carolina. Eventually we would find a quicker way to get from the interstate to the UNC campus, but on this morning it was comforting to drive past Emily’s old dorm and recall the hot August day when we helped her move in her freshman year.  It made the approach to the Medical Center feel less intimidating.

The UNC Medical Center

The UNC Medical Center

We found our way to Manning Drive, the street on which the North Carolina Memorial Hospital, Women’s Hospital, Children’s Hospital, Neurosciences Hospital and the Cancer Hospital all stand, one impressive building giving way to the next – and all connected indoors by a winding concourse.  A parking garage stood across the street, but we weren’t sure which of its several entrances to take.  When nothing is familiar it feels a bit like one wrong turn could lead down a rabbit hole, so to speak.  But within a matter of weeks, Continue reading →

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